malpwactice | ic inbox for golden peacock

[Ugh.... "claiming me and being yours". Didn't he realize she wasn't all there? That something inside her was wrong? No. No, she can't do that to him. She can't say to one person, 'just give up on me' because her feelings were twisted but they weren't exactly false — only to then turn around and claim the opposite to Aak.

Rin's arms gather him up more properly. Gripping his lanky body and hoisting it up until she's able to spin them about. Forcing Aak now to be the one sitting upright so she can bury her face in his chest (or stomach) whatever is more feasible. The point is she wants to switch positions and bury herself in him.]

Dating, huh? Is that what this is?

[Said muffled against his clothes and the fur beneath them.]

[Rin spins him on the bed, a gesture he's quite used to at this point in their relationship. She then presses her face against his fur, takes the vulnerable position, and after just a brief dramatic sigh he reaches up to put a hand on her head.]

[truly a pair of emotional switches]

Yea. [He wasn't going to argue it, or submit evidence, or try to logic her into accepting it. He was going to tell her. After all, in his mind, they've been dating since that day in the pods.]

I'm your boyfriend. [although the statement is still tinged with hurt, like he was hoping this status would make things easier]

Maybe we aren't doing it like other people do it but who cares? [That part is more relaxed, more sure, as he starts combing his fingers through her hair. He can tell they're "camping" with the way her locks aren't perfectly maintained. He can catch little bits of knots from where she had to wash. The imperfections make him smile fondly.]

[What comes next is a deep breath followed by a heavy sigh. With the exhalation of air Rin seems to deflate into him, but she doesn't whine or complain. Instead it's more like acceptance. "Defeat," maybe, with Aak as the victor. Using words like, "dating," and "boyfriend" without her pushing away or trying to deflect. Instead she settles in against him.]

I'm sorry, [she mumbles into his torso.] I've got plenty of excuses, but I'm sure you know I'm just a coward.

[With her arms still around Aak, she gives him a squeeze. Holding him tight like maybe, just maybe, she didn't hold on tight enough to her family, her friends, all those years ago. The fear of losing Aak is what kept her from properly labeling him, and properly keeping him. So that if they were to be separated she could just keep moving. Telling herself she lost friends before and she could survive another one. But now... if she were to lose him it'd be another First Loss and a new type of "goodbye" in her long list of them.

For now at least his work on her locks is soothing.]

I'll be better.

[They were similar in many ways. For Aak, the emotional honesty necessary to get here also felt a bit like defeat. They each had to lose a little now and then against their pride and their self-image.]

'Course I know. I'm not some big, brave guy either. [he pauses in playing with her hair to pat her head]

[It was obvious that she valued him. Even before the suit flare he could tell how she hoarded her people and wanted to keep them close to her chest. The statues hauled into her room were proof of that as well. And he might not be able to promise that he'd never become another painful memory. He'd seen enough go through to know that not all of them possibly wanted to abandon him.]

[He took the step he was most frightened of. He made himself important enough to someone to really fuck them up if he fell.]

[If there was one thing he was good at, though, it was running with his choice once it was done.]

Just don't get all the way to perfect. That's a real turn-off.

[A small smile tugs at her lips as she leans into his hand. Honestly, after attempting to isolate again, it felt like a miracle to be in his arms once more. Every piece of him like a soothing balm to the ache of loneliness she always feels when apart from the people she cares about.]

Hah, no worries about that. All the forces in Heaven and Earth couldn't fix me or the things I've already done.

[He's comfortable. Yes, because of his fur, but also because there are somethings that don't have to be said. That some things can be silently understood and even if they aren't spoken they both are living with them. To her... Aak is familiarity and safety.]

[The fact there were so many unsaid things between them made them comfortable. They understood each others' damage in a way that was complementary. Sometimes they were soft fur and sometimes they were barbs. Sometimes they were a perfect honors student and someone they were a red devil.]

[So, he knows, that if he didn't say anything, they could have just drifted apart.]

[He'll make her pay it back later. He'll accept the payment in the form of years of her life. She'll owe him years and years of breakfast, cuddling, and playing with her hair. She'll owe him a room in her place. They'll owe each other and tightly wind themselves together until it no longer feels like a miracle but an inevitability.]

[Or something like that.]

Ohh, impressive-sounding, [says the guy thinking all the equally dramatic shit above.]

I don't care about the past stuff. I'll only keep a record of you and me.

A record of you and me? Honestly... that sounds nice.

[Rin's arms gather around him again. At first a tight squeeze, but then softening to just a firm hold. A reassuring weight letting him know that he won't be let go any time soon.]

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